Heyyy Substack, it's me
and my inconsistency
I’ve been blogging since 1999, when I was 13. Or 14. I don’t know nor do I feel like counting back. I think of how easy it was to blog every day back then. About school, about my feelings. When blog posts were just blocks of text and we couldn’t even add pictures if we wanted to. It’s sad that all my daily blog posts are now long gone, I wish I knew what my life was like in High School. Kind of. It included a lot of abuse, that I would write like it was not a big deal. No one knew you back then on the internet. You could write about whatever you want and know that no one you knew in real life would stumble on it — mostly because they only stayed on the AOL browser.
I think about how much I struggle with doing anything consistently now as an adult with more freedom, more time and more money.
Funny how that works.
Now anyone can find our writing, anyone can read our thoughts, and some weird ass people will even seek out your blogs, social media and whatever else just to make themselves feel worse about their own life and gaslight themselves about it. Bitch, get off my shit, get a life. Knit a fuckin sweater.
Now without a picture, a mood board, or an aesthetic you’re not considered a “successful” or a “follow worthy” blog. Without including useful information that’s shareable or worth saving, you won’t be read.
Self expression has to have value and I get it, why read someone else’s drama when you have your own. Even though I’m a sucker for other peoples drama cause hello, it’s not mine lol.
This blog was created in order to talk about self awareness, shadow work, and how to do it in the most simple way I can explain. Mostly what inspired this was to help a friend. But in the months since starting this blog, I haven’t really written anything about that at all. It’s been a rough month? X amount of weeks? I don’t know, time is a blur at this point.
But I want to reconnect with the reason why I started this blog, and I hope posting this will help me keep myself accountable.